Bidding my heartbreak goodbye

              I’ve written in this blog before about my love of missions work and how I’ve never really been able to serve like I want to. It has caused me great heartbreak over the years, because, to me, life is about serving God. Opportunities have come up many times, but things would never seem to work out, or I would make excuses on why I wasn’t able to do them. Things like, I can’t afford it, or I’m not the type that could do any good. My excuses were weak and pointless; all they told people was that I was only willing to confess my love of God to a crowd of like believers. Last year was especially hard on me. There were literally moments when I just wanted to pack my bags and go to the ends of the earth and serve God.  I didn’t want to sit in a classroom and just exist in my nice life. Yes, Even though times are getting so hard for me and my family, I’ve still got it good. My mom still has a part time job and we somehow still make it. Other people however aren’t making it. Which leads me to what I want to share with you right now:

I have decided to stop living in fear of myself and what life will bring me. If I’m going to live, then it needs to start NOW. Not when I leave college, not after I get a job, but NOW. Whenever people ask me why I always seem to dress so nicely even when it’s just a crummy Monday I exclaim to them that “I could die today!”

What I’ve remembered in Fashion I’ve forgotten in Life..... . .until now.

This December as most of my classmates leave for their long awaited and highly anticipated Christmas holiday, I and some other awesome and amazing people will stay at college for a week longer and do Restoration, which is doing projects in Marion and throughout Perry county. This week will entail hard work, sweat, and whatever else the Lord has planned. I’m looking forward to helping put this together and actually doing the work.

Tonight as I was in the leadership meeting I heard someone mention missions and I prepared myself for the familiar heartbreak that always follows, it never came, it was then I realized I’ve taken the first step. If this is the beginning then my sadness is gone.