I have no right to say this, but yet I have every right

I felt you slipping away in the moment when I looked down at that text message. 2 simple sentences but yet they spoke paragraphs to me. I worry about you. Worry that the only thing that will stop you from reaching your dreams is yourself, or better still the world you seem so keen on listening to. You spend all your time TRYING to be different that you come out a copy. You say all the right things at all the right times. You’re up to date on all the cool things and you do ALL the right things. But are those things so right. You fear the world, you don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or be on their bad side but yet you desire to propel in a field, that requires do the things you do extremely well, except in order to stand out you must be different. You’ll of course be mad that I feel this way, call me simple and inexperienced. You’ll hardly talk or confide in me, because you think I’ll judge. But in my heart I won’t. This is just an overflow of thoughts that needed to be let out. I’m not so simple as to understand the why’s of it all. But yet I wonder why you can’t get the same pleasure from those things as you can from life. For instance it rained today. When I walked back from work I just stopped and smelt the clean fresh air, and watched the birds as they pranced around. It was better than anything I had seen on TV in the last month. Or when I was working a problem in math and I knew I was doing it right. Or like yesterday I finished my board that I had been working on for the longest time. I took a step back after I had finished it all and had to smile. I was proud I felt accomplished. Nothing will ever recreate that feeling. No substance or material possession will replace the joy I made for myself.


It seems as though every time things are going well, something else comes along. But it has never been you, we’ve never fought, we hardly disagree. I always felt like it was too perfect, because I was so afraid. Afraid to lose you the bestest friend I’ve ever had. But if we are such great friends if we do last till the end, if you are my soul mate, then wont you love me past this confession? I don’t want to change you, but sometimes I want to show you that the important things in life don’t have to be so glamorous. What am I trying to say? I’m trying to say, that I fell this way, but I also must accept that it’s your life, it’s your choices and I’ll respect them just as I want mine respected. I’ll stay by your side through thick and thin. Nothing will ever change that.